Superman No More

it’s early. i just got into work and i feel tired. i woke up early to go to the hospital for a blood pressure check. i haven’t felt all that great lately. i’m sure i hadn’t mentioned it before so i’ll go into a little detail with this…

my health sucks. i tried to give blood a couple of weeks ago, and was denied because my blood pressure was extremely out of whack. usually, it will run somewhere around 120/80 and that has been pretty consistent for me. when i was denied… my blood pressure was around 60/109. i was also running a temperature of 99.3º.

definitely not normal.

so, i scheduled an appointment with a doctor here at the local military hospital, where i still enjoy medical benefits through year’s end and i got a checkup done. my blood pressure was out of whack and my weight was way beyond what i thought i weighed.

well, maybe not beyond. but definitely beyond the point i wanted to believe that i weighed.

well, the doctor tells me that my condition is probably a result of the stress my weight has placed on my body. he also thinks it could be a genetic problem possibly as well. ( test all hypotheses we must!) so he schedules me for several blood tests. i’m still waiting on the results.

i’ve got a follow-up appointment scheduled for july 3, the day after i return from virginia, and an appointment with a nutritionist on july 6. between now and the 3rd, i need to get my blood pressure checked 5 times. this morning was the first in that series, and it looks promising… my diastolic wasn’t so high as it was… but my systolic was a little high… 150/83.

so now, i feel the most scared i believe i have ever felt. it’s not a good feeling and i’m concerned and so are my closest friends and family. i’m 22 years old and i thought i was invincible. i wasn’t prepared to deal with this crap.

i guess now i do.

a new beginning?

as you can see, i’ve pulled my site offline. don’t worry, it’s temporary. i’m going to take a little time off and try to get things better organized on the site. i know a few of you may be disappointed for my doing this, but the site is not getting the attention it deserves from me. for that i apologize.

i’m still not sure what I want to achieve with my site. i originally intended it as a portal of sorts to give people an intimate look into my life. the more i think about it though, the more i realize that few people would care about a closer look at my life. when i first started this site, i figured i knew where i was headed with this… now, i have no idea which direction to turn. i guess it was always supposed to be like this. i’m not always supposed to know what things are going to be like, or how things will turn out.

so what is to become of me and this site? well… only good things can come from a little time off now and then. i’ll be able to devote more time to keeping this site up to date once i figure out what i want on here and what what v3 will be like design-wise. i won’t let you down, don’t worry. with every new look i’ve gone for, i’ve aimed for something a little more special… and a little more unique then the predecessor. hopefully, i’ll be able to achieve that once again.

i’ve got a ton of work ahead of me, and i don’t anticipate it will be easy at all, but i will be working on it. no need to worry about that. so please, bear with me. even if it takes me all summer long to get things straight on here, don’t give up on me.

thanks for your patience.