where art thou?

it’s 12:21am. my girlfriend is still out of town and i really miss her a lot. i haven’t really been apart from her all that much, and i guess it’s not a feeling i really enjoy having. i feel kinda empty without her. i know, i know… it’s all so sappy… anyways, i’m having a hard time getting to sleep.

beautiful monday morning

you know, for having stayed up last til 3am, i feel alright. i’m a goofball, i know. why were you up til 3, you ask? well… easy, really. i wasn’t all that tired. i was up late trying to figure how to incorporate templates files into an html document that’s being hosted on a unix server running apache 1.3.6. ya see, i’ve got some projects going on like the phoenix and sga websites that I really need to update and i want to use server-side includes in the project to simplify the whole design of these projects. i dropped an email to the school webmaster to hopefully get includes turned on… so we’ll see.

sorry for the lack of updates this past weekend. i’ll try to make it up to ya!

i hate being busy

sorry for the lack of updates. i’ve been busy over the past couple of days. i was working on some final touches on bellranger.com. i did an initial concept that i grew to hate, so i took the time to “improve” the look. i’m notorious for that. anyways, here’s the old one [bellranger] (link removed. now nonexistant.) what do you think? think my new design is an improvement? or worse? why not let me know?

Bills, Bills, Bills

god, i hate bills. they suck ass. i hate how i see most of my check sucked away so i can pay bills. i work to pay bills. i work to pay taxes. i’m getting it from both ends now. it’s funny how someone can make x amount of money and the government will take a third of it from you. you earned it. the government didn’t help. it’s like a giant crackhead… “i need a little mo’ money. gimme a little mo’ money.”

the virginia wedding

my best friend heather is getting married next weekend. it’s crazy to think about actually. to think that someone i went to school with is getting hitched. were still young. it doesn’t seem like school was all that long ago… but it has been. sure, for me i’ve only been out of high school for five years, but when you take into account that i am only 22, that’s a quarter of my life gone by so far… it’s hella crazy. well, next sunday, heather is getting married to her long-time boyfriend donald and i couldn’t be happier for the two of them ) kim, my girlfriend is going to the wedding with me — and it’s my hopes that i’ll be able to introduce her to a lot of my friends and whatnot that she wouldn’t otherwise meet. i would also like to show her my old high school, my old house, etc… i’ve got a lot of history in newport news. part of me still considers that area home. even though i’ve lived in augusta four years now, i don’t know if it’s grown on me completely yet. it will be nice to go back to such a familiar place.

i leave for virginia next friday morning. i’ll be gone all weekend long. no work. a weekend of relaxing… chilling with friends… ah, it will be a much needed vacation.

The Morning’s a Blur

ever wake up and have your vision so blurred you can barely see two feet in front of you. i swear.. the past couple of mornings it has seemed like that for me… my eyes must be sealed shut by sleep or something. i guess it’s not really a big deal. i see fine after i actually wake my sorry ass up in the morning. maybe it’s because i always wake up to the tv being so freaking loud that it disorients me? who the hell knows. anyways… development on my site is going pretty well ) i plan on pointing my domain here within the next couple of hours! yay me!

Off to Work I Go

i overslept a little this morning. i set my alarm clock to go off at 6:30am this morning thinking it might be good for me to wake up. my tired ass disagreed with me. (of course.) so i hit snooze… eyes blurred from sleep… trying to figure out which buttons do what so i might get another hour or two of sleep. well, i did get those extra moments of sleep, and damn if it didn’t feel pretty good. though, i’m still tired. i could have slept til noon if needbe. too bad i have to work. speaking of which. i need to get back to that now. peace outside!


i don’t do feelings all that well. my girlfriend tells me that a lot. i know this to be true, and yet, i don’t really make the effort to change the fact that i don’t allow myself the pleasure of “emotions” all of the time. my achilles heel i suppose.

i’m actually feeling pretty good right now. and as i stated in my previous posting (see below), i’ve been going through some feelings of fear and confusion as of late. it’s to be expected, of course. i’ve never really had to deal with many problems during the course, unless of course you count my various financial difficulties.

speaking of finances… a strange thing just happened to me recently. i broke down and finally got a copy of my credit report, which is dismal at best. it mainly told me that i owe a lot of people a good deal of money. i suppose if i’m patient and i work hard, i’ll be able to pay off my debt soon enough. but anyways, that’s not what i wanted to discuss. anyways… on my credit report i discovered that a delinquent jcpenneys account somehow made its’ way onto it. i don’t really care for jcpenneys nor have i ever had a credit card account through them. the funny thing about this account is that it was establish in 1987. last time that i checked, i was 9 at the time. they give credit cards to nine years olds? i don’t think so. so i call jcpenneys today to figure out what the hell is going on and why i have an account showing up on my credit report. come to find out, there isn’t one, and somehow or another this damn card made its way on to the report. so now, i have to write a letter to equifax and to jcpenneys explaining how someone f*cked up and put this on my report.

so now i’m having to deal with this on top of everything else. fun huh?

’nuff bitching for now. i’m sure you’re tired of reading such ‘negativism’.