god, i hate bills. they suck ass. i hate how i see most of my check sucked away so i can pay bills. i work to pay bills. i work to pay taxes. i’m getting it from both ends now. it’s funny how someone can make x amount of money and the government will take a third of it from you. you earned it. the government didn’t help. it’s like a giant crackhead… “i need a little mo’ money. gimme a little mo’ money.”
ever wake up and have your vision so blurred you can barely see two feet in front of you. i swear.. the past couple of mornings it has seemed like that for me… my eyes must be sealed shut by sleep or something. i guess it’s not really a big deal. i see fine after i actually wake my sorry ass up in the morning. maybe it’s because i always wake up to the tv being so freaking loud that it disorients me? who the hell knows. anyways… development on my site is going pretty well i plan on pointing my domain here within the next couple of hours! yay me!
my best friend heather is getting married next weekend. it’s crazy to think about actually. to think that someone i went to school with is getting hitched. were still young. it doesn’t seem like school was all that long ago… but it has been. sure, for me i’ve only been out of high school for five years, but when you take into account that i am only 22, that’s a quarter of my life gone by so far… it’s hella crazy. well, next sunday, heather is getting married to her long-time boyfriend donald and i couldn’t be happier for the two of them kim, my girlfriend is going to the wedding with me — and it’s my hopes that i’ll be able to introduce her to a lot of my friends and whatnot that she wouldn’t otherwise meet. i would also like to show her my old high school, my old house, etc… i’ve got a lot of history in newport news. part of me still considers that area home. even though i’ve lived in augusta four years now, i don’t know if it’s grown on me completely yet. it will be nice to go back to such a familiar place.
i leave for virginia next friday morning. i’ll be gone all weekend long. no work. a weekend of relaxing… chilling with friends… ah, it will be a much needed vacation.
i overslept a little this morning. i set my alarm clock to go off at 6:30am this morning thinking it might be good for me to wake up. my tired ass disagreed with me. (of course.) so i hit snooze… eyes blurred from sleep… trying to figure out which buttons do what so i might get another hour or two of sleep. well, i did get those extra moments of sleep, and damn if it didn’t feel pretty good. though, i’m still tired. i could have slept til noon if needbe. too bad i have to work. speaking of which. i need to get back to that now. peace outside!
it’s early. i just got into work and i feel tired. i woke up early to go to the hospital for a blood pressure check. i haven’t felt all that great lately. i’m sure i hadn’t mentioned it before so i’ll go into a little detail with this…
my health sucks. i tried to give blood a couple of weeks ago, and was denied because my blood pressure was extremely out of whack. usually, it will run somewhere around 120/80 and that has been pretty consistent for me. when i was denied… my blood pressure was around 60/109. i was also running a temperature of 99.3º.
definitely not normal.
so, i scheduled an appointment with a doctor here at the local military hospital, where i still enjoy medical benefits through year’s end and i got a checkup done. my blood pressure was out of whack and my weight was way beyond what i thought i weighed.
well, maybe not beyond. but definitely beyond the point i wanted to believe that i weighed.
well, the doctor tells me that my condition is probably a result of the stress my weight has placed on my body. he also thinks it could be a genetic problem possibly as well. ( test all hypotheses we must!) so he schedules me for several blood tests. i’m still waiting on the results.
i’ve got a follow-up appointment scheduled for july 3, the day after i return from virginia, and an appointment with a nutritionist on july 6. between now and the 3rd, i need to get my blood pressure checked 5 times. this morning was the first in that series, and it looks promising… my diastolic wasn’t so high as it was… but my systolic was a little high… 150/83.
so now, i feel the most scared i believe i have ever felt. it’s not a good feeling and i’m concerned and so are my closest friends and family. i’m 22 years old and i thought i was invincible. i wasn’t prepared to deal with this crap.
i don’t do feelings all that well. my girlfriend tells me that a lot. i know this to be true, and yet, i don’t really make the effort to change the fact that i don’t allow myself the pleasure of “emotions” all of the time. my achilles heel i suppose.
i’m actually feeling pretty good right now. and as i stated in my previous posting (see below), i’ve been going through some feelings of fear and confusion as of late. it’s to be expected, of course. i’ve never really had to deal with many problems during the course, unless of course you count my various financial difficulties.
speaking of finances… a strange thing just happened to me recently. i broke down and finally got a copy of my credit report, which is dismal at best. it mainly told me that i owe a lot of people a good deal of money. i suppose if i’m patient and i work hard, i’ll be able to pay off my debt soon enough. but anyways, that’s not what i wanted to discuss. anyways… on my credit report i discovered that a delinquent jcpenneys account somehow made its’ way onto it. i don’t really care for jcpenneys nor have i ever had a credit card account through them. the funny thing about this account is that it was establish in 1987. last time that i checked, i was 9 at the time. they give credit cards to nine years olds? i don’t think so. so i call jcpenneys today to figure out what the hell is going on and why i have an account showing up on my credit report. come to find out, there isn’t one, and somehow or another this damn card made its way on to the report. so now, i have to write a letter to equifax and to jcpenneys explaining how someone f*cked up and put this on my report.
so now i’m having to deal with this on top of everything else. fun huh?
’nuff bitching for now. i’m sure you’re tired of reading such ‘negativism’.
as you can see, i’ve pulled my site offline. don’t worry, it’s temporary. i’m going to take a little time off and try to get things better organized on the site. i know a few of you may be disappointed for my doing this, but the site is not getting the attention it deserves from me. for that i apologize.
i’m still not sure what I want to achieve with my site. i originally intended it as a portal of sorts to give people an intimate look into my life. the more i think about it though, the more i realize that few people would care about a closer look at my life. when i first started this site, i figured i knew where i was headed with this… now, i have no idea which direction to turn. i guess it was always supposed to be like this. i’m not always supposed to know what things are going to be like, or how things will turn out.
so what is to become of me and this site? well… only good things can come from a little time off now and then. i’ll be able to devote more time to keeping this site up to date once i figure out what i want on here and what what v3 will be like design-wise. i won’t let you down, don’t worry. with every new look i’ve gone for, i’ve aimed for something a little more special… and a little more unique then the predecessor. hopefully, i’ll be able to achieve that once again.
i’ve got a ton of work ahead of me, and i don’t anticipate it will be easy at all, but i will be working on it. no need to worry about that. so please, bear with me. even if it takes me all summer long to get things straight on here, don’t give up on me.
Here it is… Memorial Day weekened. The sun is out. It’s totally beautiful outside, and here I am, making updates to my website. Have I got my priorities out of whack or what? Oh well. Who cares, right? Like I really need a tan… hehehe. Actually, the reason for this update is quite simple: I haven’t made one in nearly a month and the site hasn’t changed all that much.
Many of you now know that me and my brother Matt now share a townhouse in lovely Augusta, Georgia… just minutes from the Augusta National and Hooters and countless other landmarks. Things have gone rather well after this first month, and I am looking forward to the 11 months we have left on our lease. It’s nice to be on my own again. It’s nice not having to check in with my folks all the time. Independence is fun.
This summer looks to keep me pretty busy. I’ll be heading to Virginia in just over a month to be in my best friend Heather’s wedding. My wonderful girlfriend Kim will be making the trip with me…Hopefully, I will be able to show her where I “grew up”. I’m looking forward to it. Also, with no school this summer, I will be working a hell of a lot more. Anyways… just a brief update. I will try to get better at this, I swear. I will be porting this site over to ASP or ColdFusion soon so I can set this damn thing up with templates and manage it more easily. Oh, did I mention my cable modem finally is hooked up? hehehe… Off to surf I go… TTFN.