Confession time.
Everything’s a blur right now. I’m stressed. Work and life have converged to form this perfect chaotic storm in my mind. I just want to disappear right now.
I’m the one to blame for this self-inflicted wound.
I thought I could handle it all at work. Not asking for assistance from coworkers has caused delays in a few key projects and caused those clients to be unhappy with delivery schedules. Because of the delays, we’re having to push that much harder to meet the original deadlines. Stress has increased ten-fold as a result. I even had to miss out on a conference I was really looking forward to attending because of the workload that’s piled up.
I want too much. My inability to control myself (or my spending) has caused my wife to be more than just a little upset with me. We’re trying to rid ourselves of debt, and I took it upon myself to purchase some toys off of eBay and some camera accessories off of Amazon.com without so much as mentioning it to my wife. I even went so far as to conceal my actions. I have a 6½ yearweek old son at home right now… he should be my priority. My wife should be my priority. Not toys. Or stupid camera accessories. What was I thinking?!?!?!?!?
God help me.
No matter who we try to become, we can never escape what we once were. It will always linger in the back of our mind… waiting, desperately, for a chance to regain control. I don’t want to go back to the way I’ve been… I know that I am much better than that.
All storms eventually pass, and I know that this too shall pass. But it cannot pass without having learned something from the experience…
- I need to recognize my weaknesses.
- I need to be more honest with my wife (and myself).
- I need to control my spending (and myself).
- I need to put my family first.
- I am not Superman.
- I cannot control everything and everyone around me.
- It’s okay to ask for help. I work for a team, and have some talented guys that I can lean on. I need to take advantage of that… because their skills will never grow if they are never challenged.
You are an incredibly special person. I am glad to call you are friend and a co-worker. Please know that many are lifting you up in prayer and here whenever you need to someone to talk to.
If you need to talk man, you know that the Lord is all ears and so am I.
praying for you.
i was going to ask you a question about how i could create one of those neat widgets, but now is not the time.
maybe later.
-andy
Hi Chris,
Just so you’ll know, your journey with Jesus includes being like Him. The stress and difficulties in your life right now are part of His plan to make you more like Him - to reflect His love and glory. He has allowed this to teach you how totally dependent you must be upon Him. God knows everything. Before all these things came upon you, His purpose for you was formed. Now that the challenges surround you, His will is that you turn to your God.
Humble yourself before Him and experience His grace to forgive you, restore you, mold you into the image of Jesus. Thank Him right now for the trials that produce a godly sorrow and a godly discovery.
God loves you unconditionally. Accept this eternal love, forgive yourself and ask those you hurt to forgive you. Whether they will or not at this time, it does not matter. What matters is that you do what is right in His eyes. He will reveal His supernatural presence and turn your troubles into His triumph. Remember that it is God at work within you for His good pleasures. Memorize Philippians 4: 6-7 and Romans 8:28. Peace my brother.
See you Sunday.